D- Focus

It's been quite an adventure being down here. God is really pushing and pulling me in so many directions. Whether it's the heat and working with different people. Even living with personalities that are very strong has been difficult but it's teaching me new things. The program is amazing though. We've learned a lot about how much God loves us and how He doesn't need us but wants us. We've talked about how He is in control of everything. He uses all circumstances for His good. But good to society and to God is completely different. Good to God is whatever He uses to bring us closer to His likeness and that may be not only good but also the bad circumstances in our life. We've talked about ministry and how Paul wanted to go out right away and tell everyone about God but God wanted him to wait 10 years and to build a stronger relationship with Him first. We're not doing ministry for God but with God. We're His helpers. He doesn't need us but wants us to help Him. There is a really cool and new way that I was even able to look at the cross. We always think of Jesus caring our sin but He became sin. So the one who is truth, felt confusion and the one who experiences love felt insignificance. He became completely opposite of who He was. He was separated from God, from the family (Father and Spirit). He was sin and not holding onto it. Not only did He experience physical pain but emotional pain and even disconnected from spirituality. I'm still trying to wrap my head around all of it but it's been one great experience. We're reading the book Discovery by Will Wyatt if you want to read and try understand what I'm going through. You can buy it online. It's a really great book. Something to do for a study with others even. Hopefully I'll be able to keep up with this now. I got behind but hopefully this will help fill you in!

Graduate and a New Adventure

Wow... I've now finished school and now I'm getting ready to leave for the Summer. It's crazy to think I'm done with school. I don't think it'll really hit me to the fall when I hear everyone going back and I'm working. This year has been an amazing year. God has really pushed me in so many ways. I know that I am going to miss my girls sooooo much! It's been great sharing stories with them, getting tips (on many different areas in my life.. what to wear and boyfriend tips), making mistakes, learning from them, watching them grow, laughing together, and so many more memories! I'm gonna miss this past year but I know it was a year to build me for the next year. I can't wait to see where God leads me next. Right now I'm planning on going down to Branson, MO for dfocus (discipleship focus). There are about 60 people total, 6-8 per cabin, and we're going to be going through a book called "Discover: God's answers to our biggest questions." We'll also be having lots of activities just about every night and working at Silver Dollar City. It's going to be a great opportunity to build my relationship with God and trying something completely new for me. I've never been that far for that long away from my family and hometown. So it'll be great!! I'm not worried though as two other people I know are going with so I will always have them to lean on. I'm going to try really hard to blog a little more often to keep you updated on what's going on down there. We'll see what happens. Well I have one day to start packing... more like half a day. Then I'm off on this great adventure!! Can't Wait!!

March and Easter

Wow.. time sure goes by fast. March was another crazy month as I added a night class to my schedule. Excellent about Christian values and ethics in all aspects of life and not just in the work environment. It was such a great class! This month brought on new challenges of balancing everything, especially relationships. With my friends, boyfriend, and I all being so busy it's very difficult to find time to catch up. Midterms also occurred at the end of March which caused lots of headache for many. It was such a great relieve once break hit though. Besides the fact that I was probably the only one who had class over break:( O well... it's done now! Break was fantastic though. I was able to celebrate my birthday and I have fantastic people in my life to do so! I was able to go to a wedding and had so much fun! Did I mention I love to dance? Got an Easter basket and spend time with amazing people! I even had a bonfire! But coming back to school has made me realize how stressful school is and how much I am ready to be done. Being at school reminds me of the crazy homework, all the randomness that goes on, and all the pressure of trying to please so many people. So many more responsibilities and roles to play. At home I only had a few roles and could relax so much more. Plus over break it was a great time for reflection, especially with all the Easter events. I was able to participate in my home church's Maunday Thursday Service and be apart of an amazing Spirit moving event. It really was heaving on my heart as nails were pounded in the cross and how we all think we're better than Peter and Judas and we're not. We reject God all the time. We are sinning and make mistakes too. We are no better. We put Christ on that cross. It also hit me when everyone had a rock and this rock represented worries, sin, burdens, or whatever we wanted it to be and laid them before the cross. Sitting in the front row and watching everyone do that just shows that we all are carrying something in our lives and no matter how old we are we may even have something. That's when I lost it. I hope that children don't have burdens but so many times parents put lots of pressure on kids or some kids don't grow up in a great home and get beat and torn down. It just broke my heart to even think that. The next night I went to a Good Friday service that was hard to be at and see. There was a medic there that would explain the pain that Christ went through and it was so hard to hear and see pictures of this. And then to think that the whole time he went through this pain and unbearable suffering, he was thinking of YOU! Wow... that's so hard to grasp that kind of love. And Easter morning, He conquered the grave and rose. He loves us and wants us to come to Him. He has risen and now we can be resurrected too. Once we accept Christ we can get rid of the old and put on the new and then someday when we die and live for ever in Heaven, we get a new body. He's alive and should be alive in us! We should be praising Him every day for what he did for us. He loves us more than we can ever comprehend and the least we could do is surrender and follow Him. Being able to have this amazing time to reflect on all of this has been amazing and makes me want to know more and more about God. I know I'll never completely know Him but the more I know the closer I can get and grow! Think about what the whole Easter means to you and what Christ did for YOU! He loves you and wants ALL of you, not just on holidays or Sundays but EVERY DAY! So live for him TODAY!

The start of 2010!

This year is new year, like every year! I didn't take a class this interim but instead went to Israel! It was an amazing trip and I would LOVE to go back someday! It's so much information that for me it didn't really hit me spiritually until I got back. When I read the bible, it totally takes on a new perspective. While there though We went around the Sea of Galilee and got to go on a boat ride. It's crazy to think that the same sea we were on, Jesus walked on and did his ministry on. We also traveled along the Jordon River and stopped at Jericho. We also went Bethlehem and Jerusalem and many other places as well. There is so much to see in Jerusalem. The landscape in this small country is incredible! Within 5 minutes you can be at the lowest point on earth, above water but below sea level, and then go way about sea level in the hills/mountains. From desert to beautiful green grass and trees. It just shows how incredible God is and how amazing His creation is!

After I got back I had 3 days to rest and catch back up and then I started my internship at Avera Health. This has been a very challenging internship for me. I'm not one to sit in one place starring at a computer all day. I like to interact with people and this job is something I don't ever want to do again. It's hard to keep a mind set that I am helping others. It's difficult for me to see how I am glorifying God in what I do. I've really had to work hard at having a positive attitude. I was doing much better at the beginning of the internship but now that I'm well over half-way, it's very difficult to keep a positive attitude. I just have to keep looking to the Lord in order to continue and get through it. I have definitely learned what I don't want to do someday.

February then began. Classes started so now I have to balance that with my internship and I started mentoring again and bible studies, duties, student senate meetings, friends, boyfriend, and the list goes on and on. It's been a difficult task to balance it all but I just try and take one day at a time. February was a very crazy month but exciting too!! the 12th through the 15th, so Valentine's Day weekend, I went to Alexandria, MN for a youth retreat! It was an amazing retreat and really showed me how much I want to minister to high schoolers, especially girls. It was great to lead this girls and talk to them about finding their identity in Christ and not in what this world is trying to tell them to be. I didn't want to go at first but I'm so glad I did and I had my friends to support me! God is truly amazing!

Also this month Jamie and I planned a double date for our men!! It was a lot of fun and let's just say we're pretty creative! We had them do a scavenger hunt! What could be more fun! We had a dinner for them, had a dance off... haha.. we watched a movie, hung out, and had great fun! The next day we helped with the Remedy Drive concert! So much fun! We ate dinner with them and chilled with them and then partied it up at their concert that night! It was a very exhausting weekend but a lot of fun!!

Well I've caught up for a couple of months of what God's doing in my life!! As crazy and challenging some of this time has been, I wouldn't ask for it any other way. I can always learn something from it all, no matter what, and God is with me through it all!!

Long time... Lots has happened!

It's been a long time since I have blogged. Today's will be short but hopefully I can get back on soon and continue to update! So let go back to November then! This was a very fun and exciting month for me!! My relationship with God was going great! I wasn't so stressed and busy but having fun with friends and really getting connected with my residents! It's such a great feeling to help people! New things started in my life at the end of the month! I started dating! WOAH! lol! Got to have a first time for everything right! Every thing in life whether new or old will teach you something and this relationship definitely has taught me a lot already!! It's pushed me and definitely strengthen me as a person! December then came real quick and thoughts of Christmas were in my mind. It's such a busy time and can get stressful. I decided not to give many gifts out this year but instead give my time since spending time with people is soooo much better then stressing out on what I'm going to give them!! Christmas break was still somewhat stressful though as I spent lots of time in the doctors office or snowed in. I had lots of test run on me. O the joys of having a screwed up body! So on the 16th (last day of finals, good thing I had none this day!) I had some terrible sharp pains. I had some pains the day before but nothing like that day. I thought I was going to die. I called my doctor just to make a regular appointment. They ended up telling me to go to the ER but I didn't think it was necessary so I waited to go to acute care. They ended up sending me to the ER to do more testing. They thought maybe appendicitis. They couldn't even find my appendix. They ended up says I had cystic ovaries, some fluid, and something was inflamed. They gave me some pain medicine and on my way I went. The following Wednesday I had my scope test to re-check for Celiac Disease. I was suppose to have this in October so we were expecting to do this. They knocked me out really good, which I was so thankful for! Last time not so much! Everything came back negative! The next week I saw a women doctor to get cleared up on my ER results. So here is what really happened. I had a cyst on my ovary and it burst causing a crap load of pain. Now I'm on medicine and hopefully, everything will stay ok and get better now! So that was mainly my break! Besides spending time with friends and Brett! That is when I wasn't snowed in from all the snow! lol!! Well I got to go but I will pick up from here hopefully soon!!